If I were asked the question "Would you rather be always loved but never respected, or always respected but never loved for the rest of your life?" I would probably side with the first option - always loved but never respected. It's more of a complicated trick question than anything, too, seeing as how love and respect, as I'm learning, are so deeply interrelated.
I think this question resonates with anyone because it comes from something deeply written inside of us - whether it is from our souls or just our hormone levels. In any way, it definitely goes back to the Bible - Men, love your wives. Wives, respect your husbands. Huh, so that's why romantic comedies do so well in our movie industry - it's all about women getting the love we desire (or men on the pursuit, which is why some of you guys - admit it - like some of the romantic comedies. i.e. roles like Colin Firth's in Love Actually). Ultimately, the point I'm getting to is that each gender gets some kind of incredible adrenaline high fulfillment, and hopefully, rather, a consistent satisfaction in life from being loved and/or respected.
I fail at this. At both, really. Love and respect. Given the title of this post though, let's tackle the latter.
Of recent, I definitely have not been giving my boss the respect he deserves as a child of Christ nor as he probably desires. Here's the problem I've witnessed with that. I like math, so let's break this down to simple idealogic variables:
a: Boss frustrates Lauren with criticism --> Lauren gets upset/feels disrespected
b: Lauren gets upset/feels disrespected --> Lauren does not respect Boss
c: Lauren does not respect Boss --> Boss does not receive desired respect
----- CONCLUSION
Boss frustrates Lauren with criticism --> Boss does not receive desired respect
Oh yeah, and therefore:
Boss does not receive desired respect --> Boss continues to frustrate Lauren with criticism
Forgive me, I loved Logic in college. And this is, well, a pretty logical and straightforward display of a realistic situation. The trouble with this is it becomes this ineffective and self-and-others-deprecating cycle. Not healthy. Not fun. Not a pretty environment to work in, to say the least.
Being that my boss is 67, stubborn, and pretty well-set in his ways, I figured I'm probably the one who needs to take action. This realization came probably more from conviction the Lord has been putting on my heart. I was reading in Hebrews 13 today, and it talked about respecting your authority figures. D-dang. Could I have been called out any more? Probs not. It went on to say how that respecting your authority figures would better benefit you (me) in the end. Oh wow... well yeah. That would make sense, wouldn't it?
Following my conversation with Julie from the previous post (Great Expectations), this has been no easy task. But I've been trying to accomplish it on my own... so today, I prayed. I asked my Lord for His love to Love others with. And out of the overflow of love comes, amazingly, respect. Huh.
So I came into work all bubbly and smiley today, which is a little odd considering it's a rainy day and usually I match the weather on these days - quiet, calm, and gray... with the exception of today's display of light humor and white, shiny teeth.
Actual conversation:
Boss: How are you? (somewhat gloomily)
Lauren: (smiling) I'm great, thanks! How are you?
Boss: Oh wow, really? (tone of surprise) Huh... I'm good, thanks. .... Really, you're great on this rainy day?
Lauren: yeah!
Boss: Oh... just didn't see it coming, you're so bubbly.
Bahahaha. I fully believe in my Lord and his Spirit of love and respect changing this office around. That by loving and respecting each other, we may actually be able to get through to each other better in our communication and daily actions/interactions.
Sweet sauce. Just a thought I've been having recently. If there's someone you've been disrespecting or disloving (not a word? I make them up sometimes), I encourage you to ask the Lord for His love to love them with and watch the atmosphere go from gloomy to bright and lovely! Even on a rainy day.
Tight.
