truth in water

I had a moment of truth tonight. Just one moment where everything felt real. Everything felt true. Most times I strive to have that feeling. I often feel caught up in the flow of routines, classes, interactions with people, meals, all the repeated actions on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis.

But every once in a while, you just have a moment. When everything slows down... and you have time to actually stop . and . think .

So here's the moment: I was sitting on the ledge at the pool in the college gym, watching our high school team swim (i'm the assistant coach). The flow of the water coming off of their fins was rhythmic, creating shallow, congruous waves. The same depth. The same rhythm.

The sound of the waves washed out any other noise in the room (if there was any). I lost myself in the trench of the waves. Sitting there, the truth hit me. I was trying to remove myself from my surroundings, from my day, and just think for a second. Why was I there? Right there, sitting on the ledge, watching high schoolers swim. Why were any of us there?

Here's the thing, we were all created by the same God. We were all there for a reason. We are all who we are for a reason. Then the Switchfoot song popped into my head,

"we were meant to live for so much mo-o-ore. have we lost ourselves?"

What is it that we were meant to live for? We were created to be in holy communion with God, but that got messed up from the near beginning. So here we are on Earth, most of us wondering how we got here. Maybe it was some spontaneous combustion that somehow evolved into a ridiculously organized race with complex feelings, emotions, and thoughts. But that just. doesn't. make. sense. It doesn't explain emotion, love, compassion, the novel and complex workings of the human mind. Heck, it doesn't even really explain animal function.

If we feel, if we have love, it wasn't naturally generated from dirt or monkeys or a spontaneous combustion. Spontaneous combustion does not generate love. Something else had to... someone had to have given us this love. It has to have much more original purpose than for living in the now.

We find that the purest form of love is completely selfless love. Some of us may have never experienced this before... In my observances, I find that the best representation of this type of love on Earth is generally between a mother and her child. I don't understand it yet, but the side effects from these mothers are pretty strong.

So, someone created us intentionally. Someone made us with a purpose. Someone gave us love, not so we could make a mockery of it and destroy it and abuse it and misunderstand on Earth, but so we can love one another, glorify it, cherish it, and learn from it. This is the greatest thing to live for on Earth, is love.

What is it that fills that empty hole in our heart? It can't be anything material or physical, because those things would have to be injected into us to fill that hole. It has to be something that can get in there. It has to be love, or respect, or feeling like you have a purpose in life.

Great Scott, I'm onto something here... just gotta figure out what it is. What am I getting at... Oh yeah! God is love. period. The LORD created us out of an overflow of His love for us.

Love doesn't entail sitting around and watching a beautiful love you created just play and disrupt itself and screw up its life. Love is a father or mother picking up their kid when they're learning to walk. Love is patient, and love is kind. Love is giving up the seat you wanted to someone else because you want what's best for them. You put them before yourself. Love is letting them have the last cookie, or cleaning the house when they're away for the weekend so they can return to a fresh clean house. Love doesn't require recognition to stroke your ego. Love gives of itself and expects nothing in return.

Love covers us all. The greatest love, the greatest sacrifice, would be to give your life for another person. Think about it - no more days to wake up, sunsets, conversations, walking on Earth, eating good food, rocking out to sweet music in your car, movies, trips with your family, laughter (well, maybe all that in heaven, but that's something else). You gave your life for the person you love, so that they could keep on living. What our God did is even greater.

We were separated. We couldn't be with him anymore, or we would explode. Literally. And God loves us too much to let us explode. The only way to be reconciled to him is through the sacrifice of innocent blood. Thousands of lambs, beasts, etc. were sacrificed in the old testament. Enough could not be spilled. By the time the priest was done with the sacrifices in the tabernacle, he was literally covered in blood of slaughtered animals. But God had a different plan than mass-animal slaughter for the rest of human existence...

God came down to Earth as His son Jesus. Jesus was sinless, faced temptation in human form and resisted it. Jesus had eternal faithfulness, was a miracle-worker, loved others perfectly, taught, corrected, and rebuked, and healed a LOT. He was awesome. Can you imagine living and knowing God in person? Getting to be in his presence? To listen to him, touch him, love and be loved by him. This is Jesus, all in one.

Then, Jesus, one week after being celebrated and welcomed in to the city, was denied and crucified by the same people. He died an unimaginable death, carrying the own weight of his cross after being whipped and beaten. Most of us probably would have died from the beatings, but he suffered the worst of pains and then hung on a cross. The pain he took on and the weight he carried was to bear our sins, the sins of those he loves.

This is somewhat along the lines of what the LORD has been showing me recently. He led me to the Old Testament to read what punishment I deserve for my sinful nature. It has helped me to understand how I need Jesus, how he is the only way to have a relationship with God (what you and I were created for). However, I've also recently learned this: It is not about me. It never really was. I was created to live out this purpose, live in relationship with the LORD, and to (gratefully) be a part of His master plan. To serve and love Him and His creation.

Seek Him and LIVE - Amos 5:6 - My only desire is not material things, not to live the life I want, but to seek the LORD. To let go of everything else and just seek Him. What could that look like? What could that mean?

I'd like to find out. LORD, forgive me for my sins. Father, I want to know you more. I want to see your face, Jesus. Teach me, LORD. Show me the way.